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Joel Luschek is a CO and staff electrician/manager of the Electrical shop at Litchfield Penitentiary. He is portrayed by Matt Peters.

Personality Edit

Luschek is sarcastic, somewhat apathetic, and doesn't appear to enjoy his job - though, when a screwdriver goes missing from the shop, he buys another with his own money to avoid disciplinary action.

Not much is known about Luschek. He often verbally abuses the female inmates including Piper by making inappropriate sexual remarks to them. He also has racist tendencies, shown mocking Janae by referring to her as a "monkey" in one scene.

Multiple people suggest he is an alcoholic, and he is seen regularly adding alcohol to his morning coffee. It is confirmed that he consumes drugs on at least a semi-regular basis, primarily when Nicky proposes to Luschek that he sells her heroin and he is unperturbed, and when he tells the laundry staff to wash his uniform during "Bed Bugs and Beyond", but first removes a baggie of marijuana from the pockets.

Physical Appearance Edit

Joel Luschek has light brown hair and blue eyes. He does not wear a traditional CO uniform, instead wearing a blue cotton shirt with pants similar to the CO's.

BiographyEdit

Season One Edit

In Piper's first day in electrical, he introduces himself and welcomes her and Watson to the class. When Watson tells him that she was not going to fix a lamp without pay, Luschek makes a comment that she was "one of those" and puts her behind the cage, tasking her to keep track of whom take tools from the wall.

After a lunch break and the class is dismissed, Luschek panics as there was one screwdriver missing.

Season Two Edit

Season Three Edit

Luschek tries to help Nicky Nichols and Big Boo with the heroin that they stole from Vee in Season Two.

[...]

Luschek gets caught with heroin in his desk in Electrical, placed there by Nicky. He is quick to accuse Nicky, and Caputo believes him due to Nicky being an ex-heroin addict. This causes Nicky to be transferred to MAX. He is one of the few original Litchfield staff characters to remain in the series after Season 3.

Season Four Edit

During Season Four he befriends the new inmate, Judy King, and seems to enjoy her presence at Litchfield.

[...]

During "Piece of Shit", Luschek arrives at work and CO Bayley alerts him that his mailbox is overflowing with letters. He opens them up and all of them are written on yellow lined paper calling Luschek names - they are from Nicky. He then asks Judy King for advice on the situation. Later, an argument happens between Luschek and Coates when Luschek is too busy playing a soccer game to take a bleeding Gina to the clinic. Coates then proceeds to call Luschek a piece of shit and Luschek starts to question everything.

[...]

During "People Persons" and "Toast Can't Never Be Bread Again", Luschek is assigned to protect Judy and Yoga Jones in their room. Judy produces some MDMA, which they all take, and they soon start having a threesome.

Season Five Edit

Luschek is rounded up with the other guards as hostages and subjected the cruel punishments. When he's stripped down to his underwear it's revealed that he has a boner, which he says happens when he's scared- or aroused. Later, unable to leave and go to a bathroom, he pees himself, earning nicknames like "Piss Bitch."

He is the last guard left in the bubble after Gloria takes them all to "The Poo" for her plan to release them, and ends up locked in there with her after the others figure out what she was doing. He talks to her about her son's surgery, saying his roommate in college had the same one, and that it has a high survival rate. When the riot officers begin storming the building, she is upset at having no phone to call and see how the surgery went, he tells her to run to Healy's office.

Once she leaves Cabrera handcuffs him to herself, saying he would be her human shield, but once they're forced to jump into a closet to hide from officers, he lands on her ankle and she can no longer walk. He ends up picking her up and carrying her out of the prison.

RelationshipsEdit

Friends Edit

Enemies Edit

  • Nicky Nichols, an inmate working in Luschek's electrical shop, who seemed to have a decent relationship with him, until Joe Caputo finds some of the heroin he was selling and Luschek points the finger at her, getting her sent to Max. Later in season 4, Luschek sleeps with Judy King in order to get Nichols out of Max. It's revealed that he has feelings for her when he finds her rooting through his drawer for drugs. She quickly dismisses his feelings, telling him he's an idiot for falling for a "card-carrying lesbo".
  • Janae Watson, an inmate working in Luschek's electrical shop. Watson and Luschek dislike each other, as seen when Watson complains about her job. Luschek directs some racist comments her way.
  • Piper Chapman, an inmate working in Luschek's electrical shop. Luschek and Piper have a tense relationship, due to Luschek's rude attitude and the fact that he sold Nicky out in Season Three.
  • Joe Caputo, Luschek's boss, who is annoyed by Luschek's general attitude and apathy.
  • Gina Murphy - Shown to always be rude to Gina, and not care after possibly being infected with Tetanus. In season 5 when he tells her which wire to cut to turn off the alarm, she believes he's lying and cuts a different one, cutting all the prison's power.
  • Maria Ruiz

Romantic Edit

  • Susan Fischer, whom he briefly dates during Season Two.
  • Judy King, an inmate whom he sleeps with multiple times after befriending her when she first arrived at Litchfield. However, he is blackmailed into doing so initially, and later does so because he is high on MDMA.
  • Yoga Jones - has a threesome with Luschek and Judy King whilst under the influence of MDMA in "People Persons".)

Memorable QuotesEdit

"It's Luschek. Like in 'loose check'." How long have I worked here, man? God!"
— to Healy in "Moscow Mule"
"When I got there the blonde one was screaming and the hot one was stuck inside."
— Joel Luschek
"Jesus Christ. You're having your red dot special? Communists in your funhouse? Crimson tide?"
— Joel Luschek
"...Nope."
— Joel Luschek (Trust No Bitch)
"Threesome..?"
— Joel Luschek

Trivia Edit

  • He gets an erection when he's scared.
  • He never went to college, but he lived near campus and made his parents believe he did so they would send him checks for tuition. When they found out, his mother put raisins in all of his food for a whole month.

GalleryEdit

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